Wistful Rainbow

There's beauty in the breakdown...

I'm sitting here at work on a Friday afternoon not wanting to do any work. All I can focus on is what I need to get done tonight. I have ILP class, then Kristina is sleeping over and we're going to the barn in the morning. Then we'll work on ILP homework, etc. I have training at The Melting Pot Sat and Sun. Alex is on a course this weekend, he's leader support for the LF. I can't wait to ride tomorrow, Fiyero seems really happy at his new home at Signature Eq Center. I'm really starting to strengthen my legs, I feel so out of shape riding! I think working at the MP will strengthen my back since I'll be walking or standing the whole time. I can't wait till I can leave this desk job full time and do something else with my life.

Everything comes naturally when you're with me, baby...

Alex and I finally kissed for the first time last night. This has been building since early April... It was awesome, we really click, its kind of sick haha! Its just so effortless and natural and right. Thats really all I can say about it, I just cant wait to see where this goes :)

I No Longer Exist

aka I deactivated my facebook last night.

I feel liberated, yet I'm going through withdrawal. I can only imagine this is what it's like to quit smoking or give up a drug such as cocaine or heroine. haha! My phone has also been off since last night. I am officially unreachable. I may be going to an extreme but I really need to break out of my dependence on technological relationships for emotional fulfillment. I really can't wait to do the forum, I feel like it will really help me. Couldn't have come at a more perfect time, when I need it the most.

I think my biggest problem in my life right now is the lack of riding. I miss Fiyero and riding regularly SO much I can't even think about it... I definitely will have to move to a barn with an indoor next winter, I really have no choice.

Keep your hand in my hand, your heart on your sleeve...

So I got commissioned to design my barn's website. Really excited about that, I want to add to my portfolio with real freelance work. I was extra bitter about my job recently because I got approached about designing a book written about ex-race horses. I would've LOVED to do it, unfortunately my lame-ass job prevents me from having the time to accept most freelance work. I guess I cant be too bitter about my job, it does support my horse habit and I'm saving up enough for the eventual move.

I feel so untouched right now...

So.... my job finally blocked facebook. I knew it would happen eventually, but that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. Maybe I am though, gives me a chance to start blogging again :) I love how my first response is to find another avenue of distraction from my work, teehee ;) I also have a few tattoos in the works that I can fool around with when work gets boring.

In life news, Jody and I went to Tattoo Zone and Pure Ink last night. I had Van look at my nose ring and he recommended I use this sea salt stuff to help it heal. Jody got a quote on his tat idea, and Van told me that foot tattoos aren't permanent... but Danny said they are as long as it's on the top of my foot. I'm def going to have Danny do my next tat, I really trust his work, he's awesome :) While we were at Pure Ink, Dan (Jody's best friend) showed up randomly, haha! So after they closed we talked to Dan for a bit. He's going to draw up a few ideas for my gemini butterfly.

Fiyero threw a shoe the other day so I'm still waiting to hear from Jeff or Pete about the ferrier. Hopefully he can get his shoe back on by the weekend :) Jody is off to Columbus again this weekend for their PD's written test. I know he'll do well.

I've never fallen like this before...

Wow I must say I've never felt this way before. Love has completely blind sided me and I like it. He keeps amazing me, every time we are together. I've never felt more beautiful or more content than when I'm with him. I can honestly say I love him, and I haven't been able to say that for a very long time about anyone other than family. The best part is I know this time it's real and its 100% returned and then some. I've never really believed in soul mates or "just knowing" you've found "the one" but theres a little voice inside me that I just can't ignore. I can't wait to see what the future holds with him <3

Maybe Valentine's Day isn't so bad ;)

In the past, I have openly despised this holiday. And to a degree I am still not a 100% supporter but I believe this day is what you make of it. I still believe it purposely makes single people feel inadequate, and that its basically a Hallmark holiday meant to benefit card, flower, and chocolate companies. But this year I am seeing it a little differently. It's not just the fact that I have an incredible boyfriend this year, tho I'm sure it helps ;) Its really just another day. Perhaps just an excuse to extra-pamper your significant other. But really, shouldn't you love and pamper and spoil your bf or gf any day of the year? Why this day? But I guess its basically suits the same purpose as Mother's Day or Father's Day, right? Setting aside a specific day to remember how much we love and appreciate someone, whether that be your bf/gf, husband/wife, partner, best friend, whoever means the most to us in life. So take this day and give a little extra snuggle to that special someone and forget about all the commercial bull shit. Love to all <3

Some things are just meant to happen...

So the other night, Jody asked me to be his girlfriend :D We were both trying SO hard to take it slow and prolong the inevitable, haha! But we both realized we were holding back and decided why delay happiness?! It was like we were both trying to ignore the HUGE pink elephant in the room, lol! Our bond was just happening so naturally, we just feel so connected to each other <3 He's an amazing guy, doesn't come along often kind of guy for sure, I am really lucky to have met him :)

On the horse front, last night I went to the barn after work and Freddie had ridden and worked with Fiyero a bit and he doesn't think his ground manners will be an issue. I could already see a change in him last night. I think he is settling in a bit better and once he gets out regularly he should be much better! I'm excited because I really like him and I was so discouraged when he was acting up :-/ Jody's going with me to the barn tonight so that will be fun :) TGIF!!!

Things are falling into place...

So life just seems to be going my way these days. Fiyero arrived at Freddie's barn yesterday morning. He was such a good boy, we just let him chill in his stall for the day so he could settle down and get used to the place. Freddie told me it was okay to ride him tonight so thats exactly what I'll be doing. I can't wait to ride him again, he's so comfortable! Aside from the horse stuff, I've been seeing this amazing guy Jody, he's like THE sweetest guy I've ever met and so truly genuine it's unheard of, haha! I actually knew of him a few years back when he was dating an old co-worker of mine at LSS, small world eh? But anyway, I am really enjoying spending time with him and talking and getting to know him. I'm not in a hurry to jump into another relationship just yet, just taking my time :) Speaking of relationships, I completely eliminated Derek from my life and I think thats exactly what had to be done because I am much happier w/o his negative energy floating around. I hope he finds someone who really can motivate him to better his life, but really the motivation needs to come from within himself. But right now, I couldn't be happier with my life <3

I . HATE . TRUCKERS

O . M . G...

This morning during my commute to work, a truck driver once again proved to me why humans are such a vile species... I was merging onto Rt 3 and theres this super long merging lane, this morning it happened to be totally clear even tho the traffic was bumper to bumper, I'm thinking *sweet I can drive all the way down to the end and then merge* So... I'm on my way down the lane when all of a sudden this big-ass truck purposely sticks its front end into the merging lane deliberately blocking me from getting to the end of the lane. There had to have been at least a quarter mile left of lane when that fucker did that to me. I mean how obnoxious do you have to be to do that? PLUS once i was stuck behind him, he drove like a mile behind the rest of the traffic in front of him... what a douche bag, srsly! I guess he needs to amuse himself as a relief from his pathetic truck-driving life and piss off an unsuspecting commuter such as myself, who has a real profession. I know this seems like a small thing, but it just further proves what assholes, not only truckers, but the majority of people are. Ugh humanity disappoints me.